Gigi: Donald, I've got that lady from Watertown on the line again.
The Donald Trump: Okay, okay, put her through.
Lady: Oh Donald, I hate to bother you but-
The Donald: Never be sorry. Us one percenters have to stick together.
Lady:(whimpers) I did what you said but it's been terrible. It's all over the news! They're even calling us dumb asses!
The Donald: Calm down, calm down. so you got the law changed right?
Lady: Yes. Our fellow one percenters on the council understood completely about neighbors and they changed the law right away. So many cars in the driveway! So many unrelated people in one home!
The Donald: Good. It's good when us one percenters stick together.
Lady: But now they've got t he liberal media on their side and their calling me and the Watertown city council that voted for this law dumbasses!
The Donald: Who's calling you a dumb ass?
Lady: Drew Carey.
The Donald: I knew he wasn't really one percent. I'll get him fired!
Lady: But it's not just him. There were all these people at the city council meeting trying to get the law changed.
The Donald: They were probably all related to your neighbor.
Lady: I don't think so. They all looked so (starts sobbing) UNRELATED!
The Donald: Calm down. What you need to do is tell the council to require birth certificates.
Lady: Huh?
The Donald: Make them pass a law to require all residents produce long form birth certificates to prove they can reside in the country.
Lady: But I'm pretty sure they are U.S. citizens. They look like it.
The Donald: Doesn't matter. It will divert the public's attention. Even if they are born in the U.S. you'll put that element of doubt in the public's mind and they'll leave you alone.
Lady: Reallly?
The Donald: Of course. No one wants illegal aliens as neighbors. They'll forget all about the other issue.
Lady: I see. Thank you.
The Donald: That's okay. Anything for a fellow one percenter.
(Hangs up)
Gigi!
The Donald: Get me the CEO of the Price is Wrong on the line.
Gigi: Right.
The Donald: We'll show that Drew Carey. Stick up for the little guy will he. We'll teach him that the one percent have to stick together.
